Monday, August 22, 2011

Addicted To...

As of late, it's been cake for me! Amazing...I spend Monday-Friday eating like the poster child for Michelle Obama's My Plate campaign, and then the weekend comes.

Between births, birthdays, and Broncos football, there has been an almost steady stream of cake showing up in my house. Out of site, out of mind, but like any other addict, I find myself nearly powerless to resist it, when it's readily available. Recognizing this and being quite aware that eating lots of it flies directly in the face of the goals I'm trying to achieve, I still have to dig in, even when I tell myself I'm not going to. So, shovel it in I do, not leaving a drop of the slice or cupcake on my plate...even if it doesn't taste as good as I thought or isn't as much to my liking, I polish it off anyway. I am briefly satisfied at "indulging" in a forbidden treat, until it hits my stomach, then the aching and churning starts, followed quickly by the first few pangs of regret...all will haunt me for the next several hours. I mean, my chocolate soy milk never makes me feel so bad. I don't feel guilty, when I go to bed sans dessert. And, I wonder, why? How can something that I know is bad for me and that makes me feel bad make me so mindless?

I think this is the addictive part of food that experts have been warning about, specifically the addictive quality in sugar. Every now and then, I get in a rut with some form of sweet...it starts off as recreational use like a reward for a hard workout week or a hitting a weightloss goal or even just to satisfy a random craving, then I start to stock it at the house "just in case", and then I turn around to discover that I am noshing daily on said treat. How quickly the occassional use can become a full blown habit! It's like once you get sugar in your system, it just takes ahold and leaves you just wanting more and more like some illegal drugs. I will blame myself for my choices and for keeping sugary sweets handy, but I think there is a lot to the argument that some companies in this country have created foods loaded with chemicals that do create cravings and addictions, creating a viscious cycle of overeating and overindulging that is not helping our obesity epidemic. I need to remember that there may be more of a correlation between sugar and illegal drugs than we would every care to think about.

So, now begins the withdrawal phase...recovery, addicts call it. With a schedule free of birthdays and celebrations and holidays, for awhile anyway, I hope to work this junk outta my system and get back on track!

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