Monday, June 14, 2010

So long, sweets!

So, I've recently reached so many of my goals lateley or am VERY close to achieving some of them, a place in life that I've really never been. As I work to get my mind around this new girl that I've become, I've let a bad habit creep in...making a bad eating decision and justifying it with all kinds of excuses. Several nights a week, after dinner, in front of the TV, an hour away from bedtime, I sit with a pile of pretzels and M&Ms in my lap and nosh away! A big deal every now and then? Nope. I think it's mindless, stress eating that I did a couple of times, then a few more times, until it became a very frequent habit. In my head, the lies I would tell myself were that at least the pretzels were whole-wheat...the M&Ms are dark chocolate, so I get health benefits...I work-out hard...I have room in my daily calorie bank, so it doesn't matter, eventhough I'm not hungry...I need to eat to soak up the wine I'm drinking...my hubby's eating it, too...it's not like I'm gaining weight from it...and on and on. What I really was was tired and bored and, my personal favorite, self-sabotaging, something I'm particularly good at doing to myself.

This nightly snacking, I think, has been a sneaky way for me to quietly give up on myself, because I've been pushing myself and trying so hard lately, "but haven't seen any results on the scale"..."knew I wasn't meant to be this girl"...and "was just tired of trying and caring". Really?...all over a bag of candy?? I've allowed it to derail me from reaching one of my goals. Well, this past weekend, I was finally honest with myself...the happiness, energy and passion I now have in my life come from giving myself a chance...giving up on myself, the much easier option, has never gotten me anywhere. So, the M&Ms and all that they represent for me were removed from our house this morning, and I found myself almost relieved to be saying "goodbye"!

1 comment:

  1. Are you sabotaging yourself?...how?...what can you do to rectify that?

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